Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize