Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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