Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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