im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Randomize
