you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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