people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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