Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
