Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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