The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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