Don't you send me to vm
im holly from the hills drunk
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
