Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
It's just like the Real World with babies
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Randomize
