girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
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