and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Randomize
