coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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