new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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