i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
