I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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