Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
