is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
