Fuck appropriateness.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Randomize
