Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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