sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Randomize
