The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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