Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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