i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
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