so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Randomize
