I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
