I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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