would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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