i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
you would pick up someone in the library
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Randomize
