butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
