haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
