i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
