well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
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