can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
