You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
