I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
