So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
