You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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