I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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