watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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