too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
