Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize