She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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