in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
