Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
