I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
