Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Randomize
