So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Randomize
