So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
