No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
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