Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
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