I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
