the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
