Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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