No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
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