operation harelip BJ is a go
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
