she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
